i guess sometimes when you think you can't go through with whatever life brings, that's the time when you can surprise even yourself.
How did i come up with such a cliche statement? i have no idea.
Take the band thing for example, i really was upset about it. At that time, it seemed like it mattered a whole lot. I truly believed i should be given a chance to at least try. But i didn't get it.
And while i want to say i was all ok and just got over it. i didn't.
Now, i realise i did learn to actually let go and just accept whatever life threw at me. Yes, so very cliche, but cliches are what they are because they are true.
I can't change anything right now, can I? After so many weeks i finally had to accept. cos' i have not much choice but to.
During this process, i hurt a lot of people. Cos' of my mood swings and tactless words, and i feel so bad about it. I was craapy and sensitive, and just moody and sullen. I took it on syahirah alot, which is just plain.. wrong. I mean, she so badly wants this, so naturally she would deserve a chance to at least try. I guess i'm just naturally a pretty selfish person, not wanting others to have what i didn't get. Even if they were my closest friends who mean the world to me.
Right now? I just want to get over this, magic everything back to normal.
I want to move on.
