sherilyn loves quizzes. this is a fact. haha

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your first reaction be?
disappointment.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
be a dancer.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
the person who first decided that we should calculate stuff like the amount of hydrogen. i mean, seriously, who cares??
oh, and all the people who contributed to math subjects resulting in children all over singapore cursing and swearing.sorry, am very annoyed.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
learn how to play the flute and drums. haha.
go to fun places and bring back lots of cool souvenirs.
er. i dont know already.
sponsor cedarband for overseas trips. yes, im so loyal. haha

5. If you could only take one thing with you in a fire at home, what would you take?
handphone.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
loved by someone.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?
pretty long. until i give up hope, i guess.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
not give up. i think im the kind who would wait.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
yup :D

10. If you can die in one way, how will it be?
erm, painless death through sleep.
i dont like this question much.

11. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
at 25 years old, i want to get my dream job, and hopefully still be in touch with my sec sch friends.

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
friends :D

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
no one tagged me. haha

14. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
oh man. single and rich. i dont have to have a guy, do i.

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
do the open/close eye thing. ahaha

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
yes.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
either the first or the second. haha

18. What type of people do you hate?
people who act like they know everything. or that they care when they dont at all.

19. Gain 20kg or lose 20kg?
that will make me either too fat or too skinny. neither.


such a cute quiz:)

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why do i feel like such a big fat failure?
someone who cant do anything right.
or anything well.

in my studies, i'm just mediocre, never excelling in any particular subject, always being ordinary.
in band, i'm just a member, a member that can't even play properly. unlike my wonderful counterparts in class, who are perfect.
i have no special abilities, i wasn't born beautiful, i don't have that many friends, i'm not a good leader.

if i were a biography, the words 'special' 'unique' 'extraordinary' 'excel' won't appear anywhere.
unless there's a 'not' in front of these words.

what am i?
this is, i guess, my teenage life crisis.

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Two people walk,
their shadows almost touching in the pale moonlight.
They walk, and wonder.
Silently.
How two people can be so close, yet so very far apart.
Inches close, but worlds apart.
They wonder these thoughts.
Silently, of course.
Then they walk on, and part ways.
Silently.
-written while waiting for 23

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im not affected at all by the results.
seriously, i love them being leaders. They are my friends, why should i be upset?
Why, really? Haven't i got over the chance to be one?
i really have.
I doubt it's that.
Sometimes, i wish my feelings could talk back to me.
Let me know why i'm feeling the way i'm feeling now.

Anyway, i am really feeling happy right now.
i really think the entire world is fine and dandy.





i'm a liar.

cos i know band as i know it, has changed.
it will never be like my first 3 batches of leaders. ever.
i can't bring myself to say 'leader"
i dont know why.

Maybe it's cos i can't accept people my level being band leaders, Maybe it's cos sya is head.
Maybe it's cos she can never be a true DM in my eyes.
Maybe it's cos i don't want the sec4s to step down yet.
Maybe it's cos that's just the way i am.
Selfish.
Unaccepting.
Mean.

you know what?
Maybes don't solve the problem. I should just stop now and continue my simple band member life.
see? i have zero bitterness at all.

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haha everyone do this for me:
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Sherilyn
thanks.
yeah, im the insecure kind that doesnt know what my personality is.
ok, off to tkgs concert!
yippee, can see mr ong. haha

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i guess sometimes when you think you can't go through with whatever life brings, that's the time when you can surprise even yourself.
How did i come up with such a cliche statement? i have no idea.

Take the band thing for example, i really was upset about it. At that time, it seemed like it mattered a whole lot. I truly believed i should be given a chance to at least try. But i didn't get it.
And while i want to say i was all ok and just got over it. i didn't.

Now, i realise i did learn to actually let go and just accept whatever life threw at me. Yes, so very cliche, but cliches are what they are because they are true.
I can't change anything right now, can I? After so many weeks i finally had to accept. cos' i have not much choice but to.

During this process, i hurt a lot of people. Cos' of my mood swings and tactless words, and i feel so bad about it. I was craapy and sensitive, and just moody and sullen. I took it on syahirah alot, which is just plain.. wrong. I mean, she so badly wants this, so naturally she would deserve a chance to at least try. I guess i'm just naturally a pretty selfish person, not wanting others to have what i didn't get. Even if they were my closest friends who mean the world to me.

Right now? I just want to get over this, magic everything back to normal.
I want to move on.

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