today was probably my most emotional day ever.
how i felt so high during deco, so low during actual lessons, and how i hit rock bottom after everyone had left and i realised just how bad it was.
i just always can't seem to get it right.
i tried so hard, i really did do my very best. but it still wasn't enough.
maybe it's me. that i just don't have the competency.
that it ain't possible for me to do something well, to delegate tasks, to actively help.
maybe if i didn't raise my stupid arm, everything right now wouldn't be this bad.
or maybe it could have been worse, with that idiot in charge.my head is spinning. really fast, like a basketball.
it hurts to think, to push the blame, to feel sad.
it's like, like i have to put in so much effort,try so hard just to keep the happy mask on my face.
i don't want to, you know. i just want to be someone normal, who can really succeed.
now they just think im a d.a. facading as a person, a leader.
maybe i think that way too.
my head really hurts now. my heart aches, too.
74 steps of grass.after 3.30, i felt extremely low. and upset.
GIANT thanks to the two wonderful people who tried their best in cheering me up. and erm, suceeded i guess.
also small credit goes to emily for providing brilliant entertainment without realising.
you did a fantastic job of being emily.
haha aqila, stop the pout thing. it seriously decreases your already rather unglam reputation. and you're quite nice to me, i realised that.
as all senior-junior relationships go.
so yeah, thanks for always managing to make me laugh.
CAROLINE! who cheered me up all the way. you really were very nice to me today, donating materials, making me feel better, saying it's ok. everything. just being there, made me feel better :) thank you.
i do like roaming tampines mall with you. and swinging.
but it's mostly the talking. like i could tell you so much, and that somehow you can relate, and understand me.
that's when you deserve a cuddly.
hey, that's a great honour you know, not everyone is special enough to receive a hug from yours truly.
cos' maybe not everyone has such a nice tummy to hug. heh heh. *cue evil laugh*
jaywalking gives my heart exercise :D
i feel better now. i suppose blogging helps me clear my cloggedup brain.
oh. its 74. as in 74. what a grand coincidence :)
