every single, stupid time you know just how to make me irritated.
how to make others feel pity for you, to make people believe i'm a jerk.
oh wait, jerk is meant for guys. fine. that im a big fat bully. someone who will purposely lower your self-esteem. and make you upset just for the sake of enjoyment.

why can't you just be more normal for once? to see that, it was just a joke.
something you could have just laughed off and say, "no, im not insignificant, im just as important as you are". and that would have been that. end of issue. fullstop.
but NOO. you had to make a big deal out of it. be offended. let others find out. let our friends say oh you're so poor thing, yes sherilyn is so mean to say that!
that's what you want, is it? well you've succeeded then. great.

haven't you ever looked at it from another angle? don't you know by now that i don't mean that? its not the first day you know me. can't you understand that that's the way i am. frank. cutting.
you should have seen by now, shouldn't you. the very fact that you would get upset, angry etc. shows you don't know me well at all. that you would think i actually meant that. you think that i am not upset over your little trust in me? that's what hurts me the most. when i thought you knew me best. and i'm actually so very wrong.
stop being so petty.

you are the one, who used to say things like 'i doubt so-and-so would remember me.' then what do i do? do i say, yeah, of course she wont remember you existed.
or did i try to assure you that she definitely knows who you are, and that you ain't forgotten?
YOU are the one who always implies that you feel insignificant. yet this time, when i actually AGREE with you, i get silent treatment. seriously, i'm sick and tired of trying to tell you you are known by others. obviously you don't really believe what i say when i'm boosting your self-esteem.
yet this time, this once, when i said the opposite, you believe me, don't you?
how fitting. to believe the negative, and not the positive.

i can't help it that you are going to get offended over such minor issues. it's really not my problem since this isn't the first time you are so petty anyway. i won't say sorry this time. i don't want to break down first. it's so very tiring to be in a friendship where i have to be nice all the time. count the number of times i have gotten offended or upset over negative remarks about me. and count vice versa. at least spot the difference.
give and take. live and let live. don't you understand at all?

it's not that i don't want to be friends.
i just dont want to pretend anymore.

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three times today. fulfilled my daily quotient.

you know what? i was feeling pretty down today, and guess who changed my mood?
aqila of course. and cathlin too.
you know, i seriously don't know what i would do when they leave.
they make band enjoyable, and sectionals fun.
they are our closest batch of seniors,
the ones who make sleepless nights actually worthwhile.
the ones that know how i feel, that don't just sympathize, but empathise.
the ones who.. who help me bully emily!
the ones who i can always count on.
i don't want them to go.
thanks, so much for everything :D

call it selfish, or whatever, but i actually like to talk during band.
i don't enjoying giggling 500 times, or miming. understand?
i sound harsh. but that's because i can't take it anymore. it sucks, ok?
knowing you have to suffer another year, your last, most important, precious year with such people.

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on wednesday,


haha see that's why my seniors always can make me laugh especially when i'm feeling down. which is pretty often during band.
anyway, that swing thing? its true. i officially learnt how to swing at 14years10mths, on 22nd jan at 5pm :)
so overall, it was a rather positive tuesday, i suppose. except for getting my skirt blue at 2 ends, and being 99% close to being grounded.


thursday, however, was fully depressing.
first you hear the cheers. then you hear the cries. it breaks my heart, seeing people break down. wondering if we would be like this next year, when we take our mt o's results.
will we jump for joy? or cry in sadness?
it's unfair that something you do within 2 hours can make or break you. but i suppose that's life then.
unfairness.
the only constant is change and all that.


thanks to them though, the 'phenomenal class of 2007', we got half day off today. i half-bullied trisha and kendra in drawing the notice board, so now our board is fully ready for painting. i can't wait. seriously just want my classroom boards to transform into beautifully decorated..boards.
the duty/birthday board is all mine.
she can go handle the rest, that extra.
i really. just. can't. stand. her.
if she can remind me of her and the hippo, that's how bad she is.

back to topic. the 4 of us left school around 11, and went to tampines, a very -.- thing, but..
ate QiJi; walked miles and miles to reach sunplaza park; played swings again, to my request, despite the scorching sun; got our skirts blue again, with me winning top prize for bluest butt; sat in the middle of the bicycle track and played songs; went sya's house; slacked around; played Cluedo! twice. oh amirah won both times.
but that 'is that part of sya's hse' thing was way ironic :)
absolutely can't wait for tuesday, which means physics test would be over, possibly lit and english too, there isn't band, and most importantly, i would finally know how to play chess!
haha im a nerd, and a bespectacled one at that.

sorry this post was crap. just treat it as transparent. non-existant. blank. unavailable.
there you go, im ranting again.


you gave me one special glimpse today, in perfect timing.

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argh. im so frustrated.
there's really tons and tons of stuff to do nowadays, and that few hours when you come home from school just isn't enough.
i sort of regret having to take on this position, especially as the nominal roll thing was really driving me nuts the past few days.
at least it's finally over.
you know, my archive of posts which i havent' posted up is pretty full.
ok i shall try tomorrow. just add on the the list of stuff i have to do :/

tomorrow's induction ceremony.
wonder if it will actually be successful this year. e
verything is weirded since moving here.
especially trudging up 2 levels of steps to get to the hall. chairs are heavy.
well. at least rocknroll is better than disco lives!.

sorry people im boring myself too. its this past few days where i've gotten into this.. down mood. and all i can do to entertain myself is abuse my poor table partner. which incidentally, happens to be hihi.
for now, anyway.
i got really high on thursday though.
all thanks to the school testing the PA system. gave me laughing fits. and downgraded my image more.

okay. i suppose that's all. sigh. there's band on monday, which i would usually like, since it frees up my middle of the week, just not next week, since it would have been friday,saturday and monday band. overdose!blogging just made me happier.


oh, and happy birthday dear. everybody, ADA WONG JO YAN is fifteen today! :)

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i have the burning desire to blog
not even small posts. but 5 long, worth-reading posts.
argh. due to time constraints, i will have to keep this burning, ultra-fatty desire till i'm free. which would probably mean friday.
oh man.

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hmm . what did i want to say?
oh yeah. its 12am already! happy new year everyone!
i hope 2008 will be a good year for me.

sec3 is a tough year, and i want to go through it well.
i know sec3 is the year
when we will go through trials and tribulations,
when we experience joy and sadness,
where our closest seniors step down from CCAs,
where we see people's true colours.
when we form lifelong friendships,
when our hearts get broken.

see how much i'm looking for to secondary3 life? xP


byebye, 2007. it's been a great year. i love my class to bits, but yes, i do like change.
and i can't wait for a new beginning.
-shit. that's on the first day of school.

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