was looking through my posts and think i have changed quite a bit. in my character, my thoughts and way of writing. i am still that silly weird cheery girl :) but i have matured. i think i really have. you see, now i am angrier at times, i learnt to be more sensitive.
angriness: yes i am angry at people, but i cannot stay angry. that is a bad point because no 1 takes ur anger seriously, they do not know you are really angry. i cannot begin to state the times that i wanted to be taken seriously but was not.
sensitivity: i know people find me irritating, find me petty, find me unreasonable. i am sensitive to all this. i try to be ignorant, to pretend everything is ok, even though i really want to collapse and cry. now im even sounding as pathetic as no.9 . yes, i give her that shred of respect that she does not deserve. by not revealing her name to the whole world. not like my class does not know who im referring to. back to topic. i said i know my faults, yet im scared to change. scared to lose my indifference, my security blanket. even scared to lose my irritating-ness, because its what you see me as. if i change, will you? am i going to lose all that i own, all that i know ?? i cannot remember the last time i felt so down. i want to do more. more for me and for my friends. i never seem to be contented. why?
pray for me.
